OMG!!

So today I thought MAY be the day I tell my mother??  She and her dear friend were in town to go to JC for weight loss - (Jenny Craig)...we were meeting my brother to eat lunch after.

I had already run this morning and had heard the awesome song by OAR "Shattered" - you must find it and listen to it NOW!!!  I LOVE IT.... it always makes me in a great mood and I thought OK when I see them today I am telling them.  

SO..... I pulled up to Whole Foods - jumped out of my car .....and OMG out of the corner of my eye I saw Tracy ...of the baby Levi from ET (that I have never meet but exchanged a few emails with) Tracy that lives here in Nash.  I walked right up to them in the parking lot and said "Hi I'm Mindy"....we have chatted a couple of times via email.  I am adopting from ET too....I recognize you guys from your blog.  And she was awesome....I met her 2 sons - of course that I knew from her blog as well!!  Levi is adorable!!  PS - his video is the FIRST video or blog or anything that I had seen from ET!!  That video set everything in motion....that video is the reason that we are where we are!!!!!!  So it was incredible!!  We talked for a sec...and then she asked me where I was in the process....I told her that we are almost ready to send in our paperwork but that I had not told my family yet.  And that I was meeting them inside for lunch. As I walked away telling her how thrilled I was to meet her (I think I said so.... Tracy if I did not it was because I was in AWE of the baby:)...I told her that it is just amazing how on this journey I keep getting so many different awesome signs that I am on the right path!!  Just amazing!!!  I mean what are the chances of running into them at WFs ....Nashville is a city of over a million!!

So inside it was a great lunch but the whole time I was quiet...which is NOT normal..I could not do it.  AGAIN I chickened out....I said nothing!!  There was plenty of opportune time but I didn't do it.  Couldn't pull the trigger!

My brother left and mom and Brenda and I went to the mall. 

They were asking me as they always do about weight loss and if they lifted weights would their skin tighten back up...(which the answer is NO)....only surgery will do that sorry.  

I then flippantly replied that is why no babies are coming out of my body..hehe - couldn't deal with that.  

My mom then says - "well you can just get you a Chinese baby...that is what our neighbors have done" (ps we are from the south..."get you a baby" is a normal saying (NOT))

I said nothing but thought wow - is she leading me or what???  What an easy way to tell her....but again I said nothing!!!  Not a freaking word!!  

Inside the store - I asked her - "who are these neighbors that have adopted from China?"

She told me and then followed it with.... "Oh Mindy they are sooo cute!!"

Again a great time to tell her....it was just she and I walking around a store...but guess what I said NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!

What is my deal?  What am I scared of? Well....I will tell you what....the reaction....that's what....the questioning of my judgement...the "skin color" questions....the "do you know what you are getting yourself into Mindy reaction.  I am just not ready to deal with it...not yet.